God
by XxlighterxX
Summary: Brink of insanity, afraid of his followers, Rogue wished. Wished to be free, to be remembered again. Read warnings. AU. slight Romance. Slash in future chapters. (Sorry i don't use anymore) Even if I shared story, it won't be here.)
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I will start by how thankful I'm to **I-love-scorpion. **You bring my muse back! The story you mused me is still in writing process but believe me it will be weird 'cause Its one of my depression shots. Anyway back to do story;

It's little about Japanesse Taisho Era, so believe me it will be weird to but in a good way. Characters, well the most suited one was Rogue, I used him for a reason.^^ Believe me it will be really hard to include Sting too, he is not from this Era** at all! **This will be story of love and freedom, sacrifices and in the end prices of them...

WARNING: I don't own Fairy Tail, I won't say this again, deal with it. BL, BxB, Yaoi whatever. Non-con, Rape, mind-washing. AU. Twisted Religion Major Angst(I will add other if i find it necessary.)

_**_ : Everyday..Again_**_

Rogue stand motionless as possible as he could. He didn't want have another beat up by master, not again. Maids prepared him with flowered cloths, making him look almost girly despite his chest showing from greedy cloth that keep clinging to him. Despite his problem at standing straight, he tried his hardest not to gasp, knowing master will be watch him today. 'Cause It was Peace day, a day to celebrate. Master will bring all criminals, and member of their _guild. _He had to be nice, I can't afford any more losing.

Maids finished his clothes, almost crushing him to took him inside small wooden room. Rogue didn't rise his head to look surrounding. Of all his life he knew only two places, the one he changes, the other he... _worshipped._

He don't know where this maids coming from, they always here when he woke up, always disappear when elders came. He sat his usual place, middle of the room, where no body reaches him, where they can't hurt him. Everyday he will be staring outside, where a big room showed, sometimes doors showing a little ray of sun, scaring Rogue even more, afraid of what makes this people like that will touch him, taint him even more. More. More. To where he started to couldn't take. Away from his knowledge he already tainted more then necessary.

Rogue stared away with not seeing eyes, his left leg quiver time to time, felt like chopping out again and again. Rogue closed his eyes as waiting, a ritual he kept doing it, to remember every last piece of hell he was in before coming here. To be thankful what he was rescued from there.

He remember his mother's crazed tears, trying to keep him with her to hurt him. He can remember elders to come, how his mother cut his tendons. How she told them he is imperfect. He recall how he wanted to scream his mothers face now,"Here I'm! I'm so _perfect_ they _worship_ me!".

He opened his eyes, feeling hungry staring of many criminals. Shouting his name again and again Rogue tried to smile them, he told to do so, he had to wait until wooden cage that protects him open, open for people worship him, shout him call him. He always felt like he is the one being tainted after all the pain, "It's not because of what they do, it's you inner taint, you'll clean it by serving them."

He protected his smile as his faceless maids opened cages doors, allowing them to enter for one more day, getting fed up by hallucinated love and affection. Rogue allow them to touch him again and again. Again. Until he remained emotionless as a rock. Every stroke, every touch nauseated him. He could only stared the man up him, he watched him to scream at ceiling, a new one to come. He can felt it again, feeling of losing, death of his soul. He tried to think different things.

Rogue dies. He always dies.

Try.

Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies.

Try.

Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies.

Try.

Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies.

It's useless.

Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies.

He started to feel pain to.

Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies.

Please stop he wanted to beg, beg again and again. For a moment...

Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies.

He remember, recall, reminisce,retain, recollect every again, again and again.

Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies.

He will lose.

Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies. Rogue dies. He always dies.

He wanted help but from who? Everybody is bad. He couldn't beg to god, he was the god of these people.

**He died. He died. He died. He died. He died. He died. He died. He died. He died. He died. He died. He died. He died. He died. He died. He died. He died. He died. He died.**

He closed his eyes again, hope to remove everything around him. Rustling of clothing's, moans of followers. Everything to fade into darkness.

They do.

_**+Lighterxx+**_

"Alright! That's all been ordered. I think i can go now?"

"You know the exit. To turn anywhere unnecessary."

Natsu beamed widely at the guards. Without their knowledge, Natsu always wondered that huge shrine, with many followers, despite all their rubbish, he always wondered the "Elit" placement of the Order. Gajeel told him once, None of them, this basic villagers should know what is happening there. But Lucy once told him she heard screams coming from there and chanting of "God". Natsu came to exit, turned around, memorizing every change to tell his friends. He smiled. How he would do to learn what is happening there...

R&amp;R GUYS!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N;** Thank you everybody for who reading, reviewing, favoriting and following. You made my day! Please continue to support me through this gruesome short story! By the way i can't stop myself anymore, Natsu's new appearance is absolutely amazing! Loved it Mashima! NOW R&amp;R!

**Staticy Fox Atra:** Ah! I missed you! Sorry for taking so long!

**I-love-scorpion:** Hello hello my beloved stalker, hope i will not disappoint you!

Of the story, you know the warnings, let's make Rogue miserable!

**-xxlighterxx-**

For Natsu, It was a simple day as always, delivering goods and stuff. Making Gajeel mad, Gray, Erza and Lucy furious. Though he couldn't imagine a life without them and Happy too.

This is why he was surprised to hear Gray is not waiting for him around, urging him to hurry, almost running tempo.

"Icy face! Where are we going? I have bunch of work to do, you know?!"

Gray turned for a moment to answer, grinning mischievously.

"I will show you in... safer place."

Which Natsu's childlike curiosity, he smiled cheerfully. They went to that so called safer place together, which was in woods, near their villages entrance.

Gray turned hastily, he showed hidden envelope, deep inside his cloth. Natsu looked at the envelope unimpressed.

"So you called me to come here just to show this?"

"You don't believe when you see this! Just look!"

Natsu took and opened envelope with a bored manner. He immediately stopped and smelled air with a pleasured moan. The scent coming from paper was almost numbing his brain, to urging him to comply. He read paper lazily, widened at the writings.

"They called _your _father at Clan's meeting?! Silver-san, seriously?"

"Oi, what is wrong with my father to be called there?! Anyway, he told me he won't be going here. So i "borrow" it, in that way we finally be able to see what is happening there!"

Natsu stopped for a moment. His father never called there, nor the other families he knew but with Gray's explanation he will learn everything here!

"Okay let's do this!"

**-xxlighterxx-**

Later that night, Natsu and Gray dressed up in their best cloth, walking secretively, and hiding their quivering hands behind them. Basicaly trying to look like they belong to here. Natsu took them near the entrance of temple, knowing the way when he come up here. There was guards up here too. Natsu prayed not to be recognized.

"Stop! Can i see the invitation young men?"

Gray hurriedly took off envelope, doing miserable job at hiding his jerking hands. Guards take a look at both of them, with wicked grin he told the guys probably most horrifying thing for them;

"It's for one person."

Gray looked him pathetically, then without looking back he hurried of to temple's garden, leaving Natsu behind.

**-lighterxx-**

Natsu was staring at the floor tiles of his room. Yes, he was angry to Gray at first, but now he understand what he done. It was their envelope anyway. He can wait for him to tell him right?

...

...

...

...

Gah! Natsu was losing himself! He had to see what is that damned place hiding! He quickly stood up. He had to dress up for big event, for him anyways. He disappeared, mindful that his father is probably sleeping right now. Careful, not making any noise around the street, he went to entrance of temple. Cautiously he drifted near a big tree, climbing top of it. He stopped for a moment to catch his breath, then land over soft grass with a audible gasp. He quickly hide behind a over-grown bush, which not making things easy with thorns and insects. Natsu rubbed his ass tentatively, groaned under his breath.

When he come to himself, he went near the temple. He can hear voices inside, urging him to look. Just as he about to look inside from the little crack, he felt strong hands on his shoulders.

He prepared himself to scream, until he saw it was Gray.

Embarrassed by his actions Natsu whispered,

"What do you want from me? I want to know what is inside!"

Gray hushed him with panicked eyes, pointing small hut beside temple to come after him. Natsu took glance at the crack then followed Gray to the hut.

**-lighter-**

"Oi,(i love to write this) why did you called me here?! AND answer my questions dimwit!"

"Shut up for a sec idiot! You don't want to be here!"

Natsu stopped on track, turning quietly, wanting an explanation.

Gray in heeled deeply and started.

"I will explain it short. There is a red eyed guy in here, and every damn pervert old guy assaulting him. You will not want to be here. They keep chanting weird melodies as they fucking each other's brain out. Some of them even hitting their... you know. And every time they come, they are making sure one part of them touching that red eyed guy. When they finished they take turns to... Oh god, i can't tell more than this._"_

"...really?"

Gray nodded. Still slightly green from all of it.

"You are not joking, right? If its a jok..."

"I will never joke about something like that! They didn't allow me to go out! I had to hide and wait until guards to be distracted too!"

"Thats horrible."

They standed awkwardly, tried not to meet each other's eyes.

"We should help him!"

"What? Hell no! He doesn't even look like he wanted an help! He just stared at the empty place in front of him! When I'm going out, I heard chanting for saints! I watched it just to be sure its not not something funny! Turns out priests too come here to fuck him! It was disgusting, but i felt like i had to watch it! I'm not going inside again!"

At this point Gray was turned into completely hysteric, telling same things over and over. Natsu hugged him to calm him down, the thing he though he will never do.

What he didn't know was he had to do this a lot in future...


	3. Chapter 3

"Gray…"

Natsu didn't know what to do anymore. He thought about that, a lot. He let his rough, nimble fingers to dance across black strands, thinking constantly about how to rescue him.

He can still remember the way black haired mage's eyes flicker. With panic. He hugged him, whispered calming things, making soothing little sounds. He tried to remember the last time he had to console Lucy, when she broke up with her boyfriend.

"Gray. Do you hear me?"

His black eyes stared emptily at the floor.

"He just stared at the empty place in front of him!"

Natsu shivered at resemble, still trying to grasp the situation.

"Gray?" Natsu started to feel scared. He never had his best friend look like that. So lost and hysteric. Gray never looked like that in front of him. Especially in front of him.

So he waited. A thing he rarely has patience. He stared at the dust forming around them, looked at anything and everything. At some point he started to stroke Gray's hair. Running his fingers between them, murmuring a little melody of his own. He was feeling strangely calm, too calm. Maybe shock?

But he still needed to look after Gray, even if that means taking him to home. So he hugged Gray from waist, tried to walk through the gates. Or that was the plan.

"Hey! That guy! I remember him, he was the one escaped! Get him here!"

Natsu couldn't even put his foot outside before harsh hands captured him. Last thing he saw was the blurry edges of a white cloth.

**-lighter-**

In the room Rogue was still trying to get better after his worship. Faceless maid still didn't came and he didn't want to think what is cooling between his legs. Instead he dreamed.

He dreamed what would be happen he was a sinner, not a worship material. Did he do this too? To somebody else? Would he travels his hands upwards and upwards, finding other ones limp penis, then travel them downwards to feel little puckered entrance.

Rogue felt his face getting warm at he though. But it was still better than thinking… this. Monstrosity. Then he though, what monstrosity?

He was getting worshiped, why worry. His Master told him he was luck. Even with his tendons cut down, he was still so perfect.

He remember, recall, reminisce,retain, recollect. Everyday. Everything showed him he was soverymuch perfect, his own mother hated him.

He also tried to think that didn't created a ping of sadness in his heart.

His thoughts interrupted by the rustling from outside.

And they ended when two other people entered his sacred wooden room.

**-lighter-**

So… How late was this :) And short. And weird.  
But i think I improved the way i write, thank you very much. Also after i finish this story, I plan to rewrite, to see if I can improve it. I'm too busy with Wattpad translation work and my suggestion.

But you can always drop to say hi, or see if you can prompt me: ask

Don't be embarrassed. Even if you are, there is a reason for anonymous asking, right?


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